Hi my name is Justin Apollo Stevenson. My given name is Jostein Steffensen Evensen. Ever since I tried a computer voice command thingy where I typed Jostein and it said Justin back, I’ve felt increasingly like Justin and not Jostein. And when you only watch American TV and barely understand any Norwegian at all from infancy trouble finds you. I can still remember no one playing with me in kindergarden. I had a pipe that I would lie in alone and talk to myself ‘cause no one understood me and I sure as hell couldn’t understand them. 

I have a wonderful sister that I could talk to and Mom would take me to movies for such classics as Jurassic Park and the Matrix. My Dad and I would talk about, live and play Football/Soccer. Even with 30 cm snow we’d still be out for hours playing. This is all well and good but when your teammates don’t pass you the ball, it’s hard to be a Nissemann. 

I went to Logoped and took Skjønnskrifts opplæring, but I always had a hard time with letters. They’d just float around on the screen/paper. I cried easily and was beaten up in school. Just for being different. None of the girls seemed to be interested. And I didn’t care too much about the subjects at school, apart from English of course where I almost locked my arm in an upright position. 

So my daily routine was breakfast, school, Home and Away, MacGyver and Cartoon Network the rest of the time. Johnny Bravo taught my how to not treat women, Tom and Jerry about physical comedy, and Top Cat about how to be suave. I would talk to the tv and shows like Friends gave me my values. I would stay up until 5 in the morning talking to my stuffed animal collection. I vividly remember a a teddy bear with yellow and black camo shorts, boxing gloves and a orange nose. I’d also envision myself actually being able to talk to girls.

Thats enough for this time but to be continued….